


Flame of Doubt

by Yotsubadancesintherain5



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22073431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yotsubadancesintherain5/pseuds/Yotsubadancesintherain5
Summary: There's no solace for Steven's anger as the bottled-up feelings threaten to spill over.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 59





	Flame of Doubt

There wasn’t much trouble in salvaging the little garden. There was quick mourning for the plants that got squished in the chaos. Healing spit fixed them up.

It took an incredible amount of internal pleading for them to not spring up into sentient life.

Sometimes there was a need for low-tide in Steven’s life, but it seemed to evade him. It was like he was in a riptide, numerous waves crashing over him, and he couldn’t find the strength to swim away from its grasp.

Never swim directly to the shore if caught in a riptide, which, if he twisted around a bit meant that he didn’t have to directly communicate his problems.

Steven picked up a broken flower pot. He gritted his teeth at the numerous thoughts that chastised, “I don’t have to tell them any of my problems.”

Sometimes pitying looks were too much. Sometimes offers of how to fix it felt like disregarding how he felt. None of this would break and fix cleanly.

It seemed he’d spent his entire life putting out fires. There wasn’t any time to figure himself out.

Music and gardening were tied close to everyone that he loved. He’d tried the latter as a therapeutic practice. In the end, Cactus Steven didn’t need him. Cactus Steven was simply too big for his flower pot and moved to a life without Steven.

Like everyone else. There was that hollow feeling in-between his ribs again. He felt, with self-loathing, so needy.

“Just like your mother,” a voice in his head sneered.

That had once been an honor. Now it brought up the baggage of every horrible thing she did. Maybe he never found himself because he spent his entire life in her shadow.

_I’m not like her. I’m not like her. I’m not like her. I’m not like her._

The flower pot broke more under his hands. Steven went to pick up the pieces.

Now all those thoughts were strewn about. He deftly gathered them up and shoved them down.

It was up to him to clean up these messes. It was just a matter of appearing that he could keep it all together.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my God, the Prickly Pair episode picked up my heart and kicked it down the stairs.


End file.
